“We are such stuff…”

Rambings of an obsessive dreamer.

Day 5 - Regret?

Filed under: Writing — t on April 5, 2010

Which one of us is lying?
The one who says they regret nothing?
Or the one who says they regret choices?

See my question lies in the fact that in anything you have a choice,
Any moment at all in your life,
You have to choose.

How do you make the one that leaves no regrets?

If you make the choices or if you even chose not to choose,
You are still making a decision and if that happens,
There is the possibility,
There
Will
Be
A
Regret.

What dinner to eat, what movie to see, what book to read…
What if fast food and fresh food appeal to your senses?
“Contact” or “A Beautiful Mind” changes your point of view?

What coffee to drink, what car to drive, do you own or rent…
What if you don’t mind supporting Starbucks but you like a French Press?
Honda is reliable but Ford is American made?

Do all these little moments add up?

There is still this question, while my life is mostly young,
Because right now I don’t regret my choices,
Only that I could,
If I
Stop
Being
True.

What school to go to, what life to lead, which career to pursue…
What if there is more than one thing that makes you happy?
Harvard or Yale but they both would have made your life?

Where to live, who to love, do we have children or not…
East coast or west coast but they both have oceans?
Men or women but they both make you come?

Does it all come down to where the sun rises?

So I have a question, about which one of us is lying,
Because I want to know the secret to living my life,
Then lying on that bed,
Alone or with family,
Trying to figure out,
If I
Have
A
Regret.

Comments (1)


Day 4 - I Should Listen and Listen Again

Filed under: Writing — t on April 4, 2010

Narcissistic nightmares where I stand on the white,
Feet pressed to the cool of the machine,
And the numbers tick, tick, tick upwards and I feel the panic rise,
I wake up and check then check again to make sure,
It was just a dream.

Familiar feelings where I hate the shape I am,
Hands touching all the parts I need to fix,
And the loathing shift, shift, shifts around until I feel the despair,
I turn away and dress then dress again to make sure,
Still better than before.

Repeated remarks where the young girl voices reach my ears,
Heads cocked to the side judging themselves,
And the dissatisfaction grow, grow, grows with them as they age,
I feel a sorrow then conclude and conclude again to make sure,
They can’t see the pattern.

Viral visions where women should look a certain way,
Bodies glossy like magazine covers,
And the reality lie, lie, lies to us all about what exists,
I think we should teach and teach again to make sure,
Starving is not healthy.

Positive pressure where we inspire to eat right,
Stomachs filled with fresh food not fast,
And the change spread, spread, spreads over time as we grow,
I know we should learn and learn again to make sure,
Fit and real is better than fantasy.

Comments (2)


Day 3 - If I Wrote You

Filed under: Writing — t on April 3, 2010

If I wrote you a letter,
You know the old fashioned kind on paper,
The kind that soaks up perfume off the wrist of a girl…

If I wrote you a letter on actual paper,
Paper milled and pressed from tress,
Or maybe paper from materials reused all crinkled and soft…

If I wrote you a letter on soft grained crinkled paper in pen,
Pen pushing actual words in my hand writing,
A pen with ink, perhaps India ink or sepia ink or in calligraphy…

If I wrote you a letter on soft grained crinkled paper in pen with India ink,
Filling one side slowly with thoughts scratched out,
Writing front to back so you have to turn the pages…

If I wrote you a letter on soft grained crinkled paper in pen with India ink pages filled so you have to turn them,
And the scent from my soft, pale skin left trails among the words,
Something light with orange flower or freesia…

If I wrote you a letter on soft grained crinkled paper in pen with India ink pages filled so you have to turn them and the orange flower lifted upward…

Could you feel me there under your fingertips?

Comments (1)


Day 2 - Overconnected

Filed under: Writing — t on April 2, 2010

We are
overconnected
overloaded
overstimulated
overamplified
overidentified
overflowing
and
completely linked in.

Eking out information
in tiny bites
of 140 characters -
lines, threads, roulettes,
flutters, facespace, chirps,
clicks, taps, snaps,
bullets.

And as the casing falls
pinging against the floor
our brains embedded
with toxic metal
of projectile knowledge -
it shatters
tangible
connection.

Buzzing with all the
electronic wires
we miss the bleeding,
the hemorrhaging
of a vital organ
full of shrapnel;
and the beat, beat, beat,
of another
begins to slow.

You see,
I am plugged in all the time,
you
can reach me at any moment
during any day
no matter where I am
but
you don’t.

Comments (2)


Day 1 - Too Tired

Filed under: Writing — t on April 1, 2010

So very tired,
Unexpected long work day,
Settle for Haiku.

Is it okay to start off NaPoWriMo with a cobbled Haiku after a 13 hour work day?

Comments (0)


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